If you haven’t been here before, then maybe I should bring you up to date. My name is J, I’m 19, I’m a student at the University of Hull, and two months ago, I was diagnosed with HIV. And let’s be honest, the worst thing of the bunch is being stuck at Hull. Having a bit of a retrospective moment, I think I realised why I chose Hull. Now then, I study Anatomy and Immunology here – that isn’t what I wanted to do. Had I the choice, I would be at Bristol right now studying Immunology and Oncology – worst case scenario, maybe at Bradford reading Cancer Biology. But no, I’m at Hull. And I suppose that’s down to my partner. My partner lives near here, and I wanted to be with him. In the long run, I suppose this was maybe the best choice. A nice broad degree with the chance to specialise coupled with the chance to be near my boyfriend. He’s being very supportive, and he took the news better than I could have expected. So more power to him.
So, right now, it’s going on for 3am but I’m not sleeping. I suppose maybe I can’t sleep; I’ve had a fair amount circulating through my head this evening. What am I going to do with myself? Have I made the right choice with regards to me life, my health, my degree, maybe even my choice of man? It’s hard to tell. I’m making the best of the situation that I’ve found myself in. I’m working hard, I’m trying to push all doubts I have about my health, future, and relationship to the back of my mind so that I can really slog through the kidneys (renal biology is not my subject of choice).
To top the lot off, I may have to go onto medication next month. On the 6th, which painfully, is my 20th birthday. I cannot quite explain to you how… well, for want of a better word, sucky… that really is. However, if it needs doing, then it needs doing. And I’m going to have to cross that bridge when I come to it. This is my second month of HIV, my 7th month of Hull, and my 19th year of general self-doubt. As you can see, it’s going well, but I’m coping. I can’t really explain how, but I am. I keep going, and even though by now it’s on 3am, I think I can probably get away with four hours sleep and still function fairly well tomorrow.
So the only advice I can give you is to make the best of what you have, try to be happy, change your mind whenever you have the chance, and above all, to survive. Because when you stop surviving, then you stop doing anything.
PosLife