I found at last Friday that I finish my job in three days. The agency neglected to consider that, when you have two people doing a job that one person could ordinarily complete over a period of around two months, it’ll probably only take three weeks or so. But that’s clearly why they work for agencies. People that bright would be wasted in the Civil Service. So I suppose it might be a good time to do another update. What did I get from this job, and so on and so forth.

Well, I mentioned in my last post that I would either come out of this job a stronger person, or something resembling a gibbering wreck. Having staved off the screaming ab-dabs for this long, I think I can say it’s the former. It took me a hell of a long time to realise that you have to switch off and get on with it, and for long enough, I wasn’t happy at all. But I think maybe it’s helped me to come to terms with things a little bit better.

I know now that I don’t want to work with HIV as a disease, though. I’m not sure I could stand it. In a strange way, I guess I just don’t like the methods in which HIV attacks people. It’s a nasty, opportunistic little parasite of a virus, and from a biological perspective, it’s not something I want to include in my career. I think I might be veering a little more back towards Oncology these days. It’s a nasty disease, don’t get me wrong, but at least it’s nowhere near as terminal. And it’s where my original interests lie, so… might have to finish this course and rethink what I’m going to do. That’ll be fun in a few years’ time. Maybe it comes from not having known anyone who is fully coping and coming to terms with their HIV. I know people who have had the most aggressive forms of cancer and come out of it wiser, happier, and much more thankful to be alive. HIV just fucks you right over.

So, moving on to Monday – I’m not sure where I’ll be stationed, and I’m not sure what I’ll be doing with myself. But if I’m lucky, there’ll be a place at Jimmy’s waiting for me. Working in the STI Clinic hasn’t been fun, but it’s kept me busy, the pay is good, and it’s shown me that working with HIV isn’t something I want to do, unless opening a wrist and listening to Zero 7 albums is my idea of a good Saturday night.

Zero 7. Seriously.

PosLife.